Promises…Promises

Hello

We made a few promises to ourselves for the end of the year.
We agreed not to accept new clients after November because folks often cancelled during this season.

We wanted to save time for reflection.
To review our accounting.
To spend time with out-of-state family.
To assess what we did as business owners that worked.
To get goals for next year.
Praise God we hit ALL of our business goals for the year. Ain’t God good? YASSSS!

We kept the promise to ourselves for reflection, but God came in and saw, “Ya’ll need this time for something else.”

We haven’t been able to move as we liked due to illness. The family we wanted to visit is transitioning to the other side. However, we know God has the only say on someone’s last breath.

We have no idea about our accounting results right now. We have spent time with family, but not the time we wanted with each other. We’ve had raw, painful, good, and long talks with our emerging adult children.

While we are glad we had the foresight to set aside time, God decided what we’d do with this reserved time. His plan is much better.

This is where we need to be. We needed to sit still. Right where we are. Reflect in our natural circle. Take deep breaths in the space we create for ourselves on a daily basis.

Taking staycations, trips and getting away is good. What we learned is when you take a pause in the space you’ve created for yourself on a daily basis, it forces you to look at what you surrounded yourself with regularly. You can’t run away from that!

Are you content with what you allow in and to live in your space?

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Lessons Learned Last Weekend

Hello

You know we did our couples retreat this weekend. Someone just said, “Nah. I ain’t know. When did I miss that?”

We heard you say it! This year we did something differently. We focused on the couples.

Sure, it’s an upgrade to get a real honest word about what you ain’t doing right…ways to uplift God in your marriage and a practical remedy. Dat’s what we do! Gently of course…but yeah.

This retreat had back-to-back activities of time with Bae.
All day long.

Why?
Cause that’s stuff folks don’t do enough of. If you’re willing, you can sit side-by-side to listen to a sermon or your favorite relationship influencer online anytime.

But when was the last time you feed each other?
Have you made something together to symbolize how you want to see your marriage? Made a fragrance together?

We know couples remodel the bathroom and paint the kitchen together. We redid 2 bathrooms in 2 weekends. DIY projects test your marriage.

But that remodeling isn’t about your marriage. From Thursday to Monday, at the retreat, marriages were remodeled.

There was a couple present who planned to divorce. Like for real…She told him, “This retreat is paid for so I’m going, but when we get back…Deuces!”

They totally changed their minds. When you decide to pull away from anything pulling ya’ll apart, that’s definitely a remodeled marriage.

Love-building marriages require the folks in the marriage to show up. Be present. All in.
We knew it. Everyone present proved it.

Thank you for the lesson.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

Raise ya hand if you were a strong-willed child?

Who needs prayer from raising a strong-willed child?

Hasan and I were both called this as children. We doubt anyone is surprised by this! I remember my mother saying to me, “I’m going to break you.”

As an adult, I understand how diminishing this was, but she was at her wit’s end. Hasan tells stories of how his mother tried and tried with him. One of the mistakes many parents make is assuming all children learn from the mistakes of others.

Did you learn the value of a dollar until you earned one yourself and it was lost, taken, or wasted?

Remember you learned skateboarding was not for you after you broke your wrist?

How many of you had 2-3 businesses before you discovered the one that is your “BABY”?

Basically, you learned it on your own.

I know I had to see how quickly my hard-earned cash could go before I understood to hold on to it like a rollercoaster ride.

Allow your child to learn through experiences versus through what you tell him or her to do. This will also help you keep your cool as you’re no longer trying to enforce a rule. You’re offering and overseeing options.

You have an experimental learner. Today, I’ve learned the wisdom of listening to others, but as a child and teen, I had to see it for myself. As for Hasan…SMH. Just know he was his own man before he was a man!

I recall my mother saying to me, “You don’t have sense enough to be afraid of nothing.” I surely have my fears. The first one is God. After that, the list has gotten shorter as I’ve aged! Momma wouldn’t be surprised!

As a married couple, one of our worst arguments to date occurred when our headstrong personalities met for the first time. Lemme tell ya, the introductions did not go over well. We learned we have to manage this part of us better.

Together, we can be highly flammable. And it ain’t worth burning down good love. With that being said, we pray this reaches anyone who needs it today.

See ya soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Four Relationship Foundations You Need

We’ve been so geeked by the feedback given by all of you. We’re gonna pay it back with VIP info folks often pay us for. FREE details is a heck of a deal.

Folks wanna know, “When do I know it’s time to leave a marriage.”

Here are 4 things to be on the lookout for:

1. A ‘ME” versus “WE” mindset. When a spouse doesn’t include you or makes intense assumptions about you. For example, your spouse uses their limited vacation time to book a week-long trip with friends. You’d hoped for a family vacation. The vacation time is now gone. There was no discussion.

Your spouse assumed you’d be cool with it. After all, it is their vacation time. Or, we hear folks say, “I lost myself in the marriage.” We’ve seen couples make 6 figure purchases and not disclose it or have a whole born-day party for themselves with other couples and not invite their spouse.

2. Your spouse doesn’t see your value. The counseling language for this is to “not accept influence.” The spouse overvalues self and underestimates your role. No fairness exists in this union. Whatever your role is, it has been defined by the other person and they don’t see you.

3. Folks don’t keep their word. This is a biggie. Have you ever seen a person lie about anything for no reason at all? When deceit and mistrust occur repeatedly, you don’t get to recover before another lie comes down the road. Ya can’t catch a break. Well, you can, but it might mean divorce.

4. You can’t find the good in being together anymore. When you think of when ya’ll first meet, you frown and recall how the other person belched. There was a time you let it slide. Now, you can’t recall a fond memory. It’s gone. When your mindset is this negative or neutral on love and commitment, it might be gone.

There are times when the resolution is to part. It’s a devastating necessity that can sometimes allow two individuals to be better people away from one another.

Don’t throw up the deuces on the first train smoking when you see these.
You can recover, but these are strong indications of finality.

See ya soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Too Big For Your Britches

Have you ever outgrown something you loved? As you age and you recollect fond memories of an item or place, its called “nostalgia.” To us, nostalgia means, “I miss it. I’m just too big or too old for it now.”

You outgrow clothing, jobs and even other folks. There’s a new catch word for things we’ve outgrown. They’re called GOALS. When we want to move from one phase of life or task, folks put plans in place for the shift. However, there are times when we don’t plan to outgrow stuff or other folks. It simply happens.

Here’s our master list of things to outgrow:

1. God knows we hope you outgrow trusting folks who show you they are not trustworthy. So many pains, beliefs and hearts flip inside out due to this one thing.

2. We hope you get so big for your britches you don’t let your discomfort or fear of being disliked keep you from advocating for yourself.

3. Outgrow being too shy, uncomfortable or to self-conscious to accept praise or a compliment.

We got one mo’. It’s too much to be numbered so we’re gonna put it in prayer right now.

We gonna pray right now and ask God to intervene.

Lord God, we ask You to make it so every eye reading this and every heart touched by it outgrows staying in one-sided relationships that do not reflect the light in this person or the good you have for them. Ameen.

Find the guts to do what you need for your stability. If you never get the guts, do it scared. You’re worth it. Now, let’s go outgrow some stuff!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Get It All & Keep Your Coins

Hello You!

Picture this…the year is 2021. You’re unmarried. The Love Thang move you’ve been waiting for is waiting for you.

Now, you decide not to waste another minute delaying better. You’re worn from investing time and ending up unmarried. AGAIN.

You realize nothing happens without doing the work. You’re ready to pull victories like Sha’Carri Richardson at the Olympic trials.

You’re doing the dang thing…with our fail-proof premarital package.

Get our self-guided premarital course AND our premarital guide. The whole kit and kaboodle!

F-Fool-proof your words and get an expanded “front row seat” into a picture of yourself you’ve never seen before. For example, what do you need to be “purpose-driven” in a marriage.

A-Accept you’ll make concessions for another person and they’ll do the same for you. You get to decide what your limits are.

I-Intrigue the curiosity of another person by being unwavering in the way you present who you’ll be as a spouse.

L-List the benefits of what you offer to a marriage without using cliche terms such as “God-fearing”, good communicator or supportive. Go deeper and learn how. There’s no one else like you! Act like it.

And there you have it!

If you’re tired of using your finesse and time, and feeling on point to sort through the premarital madness, we’ve done it for you.

Snatch our package…the self-guided premarital course and our signed “Be A Bae Magnet” book ALL IN ONE to pierce through the struggle and buy with a savings of $47.98. This is directly from the premarital course we do, one-on-one, and has a 99.5% rate of kicking divorce and separation to the curb. You want this!

It’s only $74.99 for a very narrow window of time.

You don’t know how hyped we are for you!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

This Will Get You More

Hello You!

You gotta hear the things we learned from our family vacation in Puerto Rico. First, I struggled to get THE HIM home. You think I’m playin’! This dude was checkin’ for apartments, but he was willing to come home with me.

First Lesson: If you want great ideas, let your brain recharge. We got so much inspiration while allowing our minds to chill out. And you gotta do the same with your relationships. Don’t keep’em so serious.

Lesson Two: Time is priceless. Value your time. Of course we run a business. We want to deliver the service and products we promise, but we’re checking out a bit more. For example, if it’s a national day when many things are closed on American soil we’re likely gonna be also. Don’t say we ain’t tell ya! We’re tired of friends and our children being home and available for the love and a cookout and we have to work.

Lesson Three: The small stuff matters. One of my best moments on vacation was the day I walked to a nearby Walgreens and KFC. I bought a Gatorade, snacks and a 2-piece dinner. Don’t judge me!
Then, I sat on the shore of the Caribbean ocean, by myself, for hours. This small $10 moment boosted my spirit.

Lesson Four: Get a room for yourself while traveling! Sure, we shared a room on vacation, but the moments when we didn’t wanna, we didn’t. THE HIM was able to dig into the arctic temps of the air conditioning unit as he chose and I sat in a room next to the waterfall. Our desire for together, and individuality, was met. It made us like each other more.

If you’re ready to flood your life with small tips for life-changing relationship renovation, including the relationship with yourself, we got you covered.

See ya’ll next time,

THE HIM and Naaila

You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge

Hello You,

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” Many stop with quoting or hearing the phrase because they wanna know what they gotta do to acknowledge it. Client have said, more than once, “I don’t want to know because I don’t want to be responsible for the change in myself.” When a person is able to reposition this fear, much can happen.

We remember, a few years back, when our youngest son won a History contest at his school. He was so upset about winning. He feared the additional word he’d have to do for the state competition. He did not know he’d only have to present the same project another time to a different group of judges. He failed to recognize his feelings around additional accountability.

He didn’t want to be responsible for more work or to represent his school. He lacked the words to communicate his anxieties. Because of this, he overwhelmed himself more.

It would have served him to ask questions to learn more about what he’d be responsible for. Had he done so, he’d know there was no additional work to be completed. His presence was required at the next level. Nothing more.

If you you had a childhood where your needs were unmet, ignored or you were not encouraged to ask questions, you won’t have the capacity to identify what benefits you.

If you don’t know how to get the data applying it is farfetched. Can you really enjoy your own life when you live in an unknown place not allowing you to authentically learn you? Consider the possibilities if you did something differently.

We’re not telling you the process of acknowledgement is easy, but you don’t hafta go it alone.

It’s easy to continue living as you do, in the space of not knowing, isn’t it? But then again, how does it propel you forward? If you can imagine a place of authenticity, and knowing you, then possibilities become real.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

You Have Work To Do…Sensually!

Hello You,

Your relationship is in full effect and you need to get to bidness! If you’re unmarried, your relationship prep oughta be “ON” right now! Either way, if you’re a part of the Love Thang Village, you knowing praying for better days without any work doesn’t work.

Part of your mind is wondering, where are they going with this? Get your mind open to the idea of more sensuality.

There are 3 groups of sexuality…sexual trance, role play and partner engagement. First, each one is much more expansive than the name suggests. Many of you may wanna give more emphasis to the sexual trance.

Why? Cause you don’t pay attention to the bodily sensations of your emotions and physical signs often. Hence, you’re also missing out on the sensations of intimacy. Pay attention to the cues your body sends even with passionate stimulation. To engage in a sexual trance, touch your spouse and describe the awareness in your body. Let your spouse know what areas are stimulated and alert.

For role play, of course, it can be the obvious, but we’re going to introduce something else to you. Visit role play as story telling. Describe a scene to your spouse. Give details of the setting, the light and other senses in the story. Each of you add to the story line.

Please notice, we’ve given you 2 ideas for increased sensuality and not one has involved the act of sex. Because being attuned and connected is a part of sex many couples skip.

Nah…go back and get that part! We’ve saved the best for last…partner engagement.

Picture this…”What do I do that feels good to you?”…”How do I know when I’ve pleased you the most?”…”When have you felt the safest with me sexually?”. Partner engagement is the moment you get sensual information about one another. Don’t assume you know everything. And if you know, ask a question about it.

Everything can be improved upon, including the shared sensations of your relationship.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Coping With Not Having Hugs

Hello You,

It’s another day and another month of the pandemic.

Another one. And there was another one. And another one. Many believed after the first lockdown, we’d resume our normal lives. It hasn’t happened in its entirety.

Naa’ila hasn’t seen her mother, except virtually, for a year now. She speaks of missing her smell and her touch. This type of loss feeling lonely and isolating.

Precautions must be taken for the elderly and vulnerable populations. On the other hand, there are young adults using their own standards for interacting with others. This can be hard when you want to hang out with friends and they decline. Or, when you want to meet with friends, but you have your own preventative measures urging you to stay home.

While these principles make sense to you, it hurts. The separation can cause depression, anxiety and feelings of grief.

Many choose to remain in touch virtually with video calls. This surely helps. Naaila has seen her mother a few times via video. While this was heartwarming it also served as a reminder of not being able to see her. Thus, the blessing was bittersweet also.

During this time, give your sadness a voice. Say how you feel to those you love and miss. This experience is a form of grief for the loss of the life you once had. Admit how you feel. Believe it or not, this also gives others the consent to speak their feelings also.

Until we get to give each of you a good Southern hug, please be safe.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Archive for year: 2021

Raise ya hand if you were a strong-willed child?

Who needs prayer from raising a strong-willed child?

Hasan and I were both called this as children. We doubt anyone is surprised by this! I remember my mother saying to me, “I’m going to break you.”

As an adult, I understand how diminishing this was, but she was at her wit’s end. Hasan tells stories of how his mother tried and tried with him. One of the mistakes many parents make is assuming all children learn from the mistakes of others.

Did you learn the value of a dollar until you earned one yourself and it was lost, taken, or wasted?

Remember you learned skateboarding was not for you after you broke your wrist?

How many of you had 2-3 businesses before you discovered the one that is your “BABY”?

Basically, you learned it on your own.

I know I had to see how quickly my hard-earned cash could go before I understood to hold on to it like a rollercoaster ride.

Allow your child to learn through experiences versus through what you tell him or her to do. This will also help you keep your cool as you’re no longer trying to enforce a rule. You’re offering and overseeing options.

You have an experimental learner. Today, I’ve learned the wisdom of listening to others, but as a child and teen, I had to see it for myself. As for Hasan…SMH. Just know he was his own man before he was a man!

I recall my mother saying to me, “You don’t have sense enough to be afraid of nothing.” I surely have my fears. The first one is God. After that, the list has gotten shorter as I’ve aged! Momma wouldn’t be surprised!

As a married couple, one of our worst arguments to date occurred when our headstrong personalities met for the first time. Lemme tell ya, the introductions did not go over well. We learned we have to manage this part of us better.

Together, we can be highly flammable. And it ain’t worth burning down good love. With that being said, we pray this reaches anyone who needs it today.

See ya soon,

Hasan and Naaila

We’ve been so geeked by the feedback given by all of you. We’re gonna pay it back with VIP info folks often pay us for. FREE details is a heck of a deal. Folks wanna know, “When do I know it’s time to leave a marriage.” Here are 4 things to be on the lookout for:

Have you ever outgrown something you loved? As you age and you recollect fond memories of an item or place, its called “nostalgia.” To us, nostalgia means, “I miss it. I’m just too big or too old for it now.”

Here’s our master list of things to outgrow:

1. God knows we hope you outgrow trusting folks who show you they are not trustworthy. So many pains, beliefs and hearts flip inside out due to this one thing.

2. We hope you get so big for your britches you don’t let your discomfort or fear of being disliked keep you from advocating for yourself.

3. Outgrow being too shy, uncomfortable or to self-conscious to accept praise or a compliment.

We got one mo’. It’s too much to be numbered so we’re gonna put it in prayer right now.

We gonna pray right now and ask God to intervene.

Lord God, we ask You to make it so every eye reading this and every heart touched by it outgrows staying in one-sided relationships that do not reflect the light in this person or the good you have for them. Ameen.

Find the guts to do what you need for your stability. If you never get the guts, do it scared. You’re worth it. Now, let’s go outgrow some stuff!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Hello You!

Picture this…the year is 2021. You’re unmarried. The Love Thang move you’ve been waiting for is waiting for you.

Now, you decide not to waste another minute delaying better. You’re worn from investing time and ending up unmarried. AGAIN.

You realize nothing happens without doing the work. You’re ready to pull victories like Sha’Carri Richardson at the Olympic trials.

You’re doing the dang thing…with our fail-proof premarital package.

Get our self-guided premarital course AND our premarital guide. The whole kit and kaboodle!

F-Fool-proof your words and get an expanded “front row seat” into a picture of yourself you’ve never seen before. For example, what do you need to be “purpose-driven” in a marriage.

A-Accept you’ll make concessions for another person and they’ll do the same for you. You get to decide what your limits are.

I-Intrigue the curiosity of another person by being unwavering in the way you present who you’ll be as a spouse.

L-List the benefits of what you offer to a marriage without using cliche terms such as “God-fearing”, good communicator or supportive. Go deeper and learn how. There’s no one else like you! Act like it.

And there you have it!

If you’re tired of using your finesse and time, and feeling on point to sort through the premarital madness, we’ve done it for you.

It’s only $74.99 for a very narrow window of time.

You don’t know how hyped we are for you!

Hello You!

Hello You,

It’s easy to continue living as you do, in the space of not knowing, isn’t it? But then again, how does it propel you forward? If you can imagine a place of authenticity, and knowing you, then possibilities become real.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Hello You,

It’s another day and another month of the pandemic.

Another one. And there was another one. And another one. Many believed after the first lockdown, we’d resume our normal lives. It hasn’t happened in its entirety.

Naa’ila hasn’t seen her mother, except virtually, for a year now. She speaks of missing her smell and her touch. This type of loss feeling lonely and isolating.

While these principles make sense to you, it hurts. The separation can cause depression, anxiety and feelings of grief.

Many choose to remain in touch virtually with video calls. This surely helps. Naaila has seen her mother a few times via video. While this was heartwarming it also served as a reminder of not being able to see her. Thus, the blessing was bittersweet also.

During this time, give your sadness a voice. Say how you feel to those you love and miss. This experience is a form of grief for the loss of the life you once had. Admit how you feel. Believe it or not, this also gives others the consent to speak their feelings also.

Until we get to give each of you a good Southern hug, please be safe.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

We’ve been so geeked by the feedback given by all of you. We’re gonna pay it back with VIP info folks often pay us for. FREE details is a heck of a deal.

Folks wanna know, “When do I know it’s time to leave a marriage.”

Here are 4 things to be on the lookout for: