MCM: A Candid Look at the Unfair Expectations Placed on Men in Relationships

Ya’ll, there’s a story being told by the men in the village. It’s often unspoken, but deeply felt. Maybe even ignored at times. Men are getting hip to an imbalance being handed to them.

Men sense they are often expected to shoulder more burdens and suppress their feelings. They believe they’re expected to take the high road, to be the bigger person, even when they’re in the right.

Ladies, lemme find out! Could this be true? Stop playin’! It is.

Let’s look at a couple we work with… John, a dedicated man married to Layaan. When disagreements arise, John feels the weight of her expectation for him to back down, to maintain peace, even when he’s right. If Lisa is wrong, she wants to be met with gentleness. John doesn’t have access to this option. He’s a man so he should suck it up. Her actions are seemingly devoid of the same level of consequences John faces.

And, to bear the brunt of the situation without complaint!

He’s supposed to be okay even if Lisa doesn’t experience the natural outcomes of her actions. This dynamic, where the man is expected to bear more losses is something many men find unfair. They feel that just because they are men, it’s supposed to be cool.

And it isn’t.

Men, if you’re reading this and find your own experiences in John’s story, know you’re not alone. Many men feel this way. It’s important to bring these feelings into the light.

Fairness in a relationship isn’t about keeping score, but about mutual respect and understanding. It’s about acknowledging the validity of each other’s feelings and experiences.

If you’re feeling like you’re always expected to take the high road, open up with Bae. It’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding and growing together. Sound overwhelming? No worries. In a few sessions, we can facilitate this conversation for you. Let us know. It’s okay to express your feelings and to expect fairness in your relationship.

Tell us what you think. Let’s start a conversation about this, and work towards relationships where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

See ya soon,

Naaila