We all look for and speak of the joys of marriage. There are many of them. Ok…Done talking about those for the day!
When we are honest about human behavior and expectations, we can be better prepared for the realistic moments that arise. For example…Wait! This isn’t an example. This is the real ISH no one talks about unless they want to be honest with you. Now, back to the example, which really is a real life scenario married couples experience!
Marriage brings out, displays and is a perfect stage for character flaws. You love this person immensely. Your marriage is great until all hell breaks lose at random intervals in life. Many people admire your husband or wife, but you see and know behaviors, habits and incidents you’ve shared with no one, with the exception of a Marriage Counselor or Member of the Clergy, if it has gone this far. And you didn’t tell them everything! The great husband is also the man who had emotional affairs online until your first child was born. You knew the name “Honey Baked” was not about ham because he’s been vegan for years. He isn’t even good at not being the great guy others believe him to be! She “stretches the truth” about how you monitor her spending, to your disadvantage, to save face in front of others. You suck it up, keep your eyes on the bank account and her debit card. Your lovely wife is the same woman who can’t balance a soccer ball or a budget and caused you to file for bankruptcy. Your spouse has an awful temperament when angry, which they save for you, and only you! A gift you would gladly decline if given the chance.
You continue to live with this person and to increase in love over the years. If this were a colleague, business partner or friend, you would reconsider the relationship, implement distance between you or dissolve contact. Marriage isn’t designed for this option. It requires us to look at the totality of the person and forgive them. We make excuses for character flaws and look for that which we like that helps to sustain the marriage, parenting and family.
Consider the events and habits you overlook in your relationships. Name a few in the comments. Share ways you continue to find benefit in creating a life with this person.