Marriage Bully: Bossing Love Around

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Men confuse dominance with leadership. Marriages need leadership and men should be the ones to take lead. Leadership in marriage requires listening, precaution versus impulsiveness and taking a wife’s feedback into consideration. Boss moves in full effect! Do this and you can get much more of what you want from her without having to buy anything!

You cant be dominate, act possessive or objectify a woman and expect her to respond to you lovingly and surely, don’t look for submission. Men cause problems when they present themselves and their positions harshly.  Acting this way makes matters worse and increases tension in the marriage. Many men think, “I’m the husband!…She belongs to me. She should do what I say! I work and take care of her. I make sacrifices. I should be respected for this.” Surely, a husband deserves respect, as does she. Using balance and good judgment, a husband should make sacrifices as well as the wife. On the other hand, when a wife SELF-sacrifices and repeatedly has to negate herself, her dreams, her preferences and her needs for her spouse, she gets pissed off!

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No one wants to feel negated or devalued. Furthermore, if she belongs to you, treat her as well as you do the other prized possessions you hold dearly. Many men give their  their cars, electronics and golf clubs better care and attention than they do their wives.

When a husband dominates the marriage, his actions say, “I want you to submit to me. Forget who you are!” Now, perhaps she does agree to do so for him for whatever reason she can summon! When and how often will he make the same level of sacrifice? She will want to see this reciprocated. And really should it be? Should you ever get to the point where you set aside your own values for someone else and for purpose of balance, you want to see them show the same level of low self-respect on your behalf? This is sick! Marriages should not encourage anyone to negate their unique self in order to be a part of a union.
Ignoring a wife’s needs gets you nowhere. When a man does so, he looks as if his desire is to be right. To win. He doesn’t seek to make an impact in the marriage without being a bully. Be nice.
And then, be even nicer than you were the last time. Bullying her into obedience will not create a healthy marriage. And as for love, forget about it! Love cannot survive in these hazardous conditions. Your wife and family should get the best of you. Not the best of your meanest behavior.

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