It can be real hard not to say what you want to say in the heat of anger. Telling someone you have to control yourself when feeling hurt, frustrated or witnessing the same raggedy behavior from your husband or wife again will take you to another place. The Sunken Place. Tied to a chair. With toile tea cups in front of you. With no way to GET OUT.
So, Hasan and Naaila…what can I do to hold my words back and propel my thoughts forward?
Fall back. Don’t say a word.
We live in a society that encourages us to, “Say exactly what you mean…Tell it like it is…Give the brutal truth.”
Does the truth have to be brutal?
Get your words together. Nicer ones. You can’t give a peak performance in this moment. And don’t you want your husband or wife to get the fullness of how full you are? They need to hear all of dis. And in a way he or she can hear it and respond to it, which is what you really want.
Don’t just hear me. Act on what it is I’m saying. This can be a juggling act if you’ve never seen it before or don’t know how. Here’s the moment in which we come in.
You have a better chance of making this happen if you make better word choices.