We want to introduce you to a couple dealing with infidelity. The couple knows this grind has overtime work. When we mentioned things others hide, such as, you’ll have some bad experiences with your spouse because of all the questions that come with the pain and you’ll feel pain all over again and will want someone to catch these hands!
You”ll feel your pain all over again and will want to respond to the thoughts in your head.
The student in High School Always Fighting-will come out of you and it ain’t even you!
You’ll want to use words to hurt because someone else needs to feel this pain. If you say what you feel every time, your husband or wife won’t be motivated to work at this. Managing your reactions will be the goal of the day. Many days. In a row.
You’ll wanna know, “Why I gotta try to control myself, he/she didn’t when they did whatever they had the mind to do?” It won’t feel fair.
Another secret code no one shares is realizing your spouse had a long-term affair that has ended physically, but you will have to live with this person as they work through the emotional attachment. Your spouse was in love with another person.
You’ll feel like, “Wayment…You’re going too fast. I don’t want to work with you while you working out the love you have with someone you had no business loving!”
As time goes on, you’ll find out more details that will piss you off like hot lava. You’ll feel betrayed all over again, but you’ve agreed to position yourself to work on the marriage.
And what was done in the dark, like an affair, comes to the light. Sometimes, it happens slowly. Your spouse may be doing good…but you get receipts from a year old event. Be prepared for moments of discovery and being triggered all over again when you learn of another way you were deceived.
These feelings happen with any type of dishonesty.
When we said this, the couple looked like we stole the vibranium from Wakanda!
After choking a bit, they admitted these scenarios already happened.
Healing is healthy, but the process will hurt.
Healing may hurt more than what happened to you.
Often when you need healing, you ignore the pain…use food as comfort … silence your inner voice whispering wisdom… become engulfed with another person’s trash so you’ll smell like their garbage and not your own…rather than pray you become prey AGAIN…you resist pulling God close and bring ungodliness closer. Healing has no substitute. Avoiding the raw and real requirements causes many couples to have the same issues. Over and over again. No resolution causes the same mess to come up. At the retreat in March, we have the coolest game for couples to see how your boxing moves fight fairly in the marriage ring or if you’re fighting the marriage. The choice is yours. You’re robbing yourself if you’re not there. Trust us. Your marriage is worth it.
As for your healing, two things will happen.
- You’ll show up like a soldier for someone else to find comfort from your revival
- You’ll do nothing and bleed on someone else who never cut you.