How To Talk To Each Other During a Pandemic

Love Thang Village, Ya’ll told us that you’ve been running out of these to talk about with your spouse. When you have found words, often they didn’t feel like the right ones as they didn’t create the “That’s It” vibe you wanted. You try and start all over again. We’ve got a quick time investment […]

Lessons Ain’t Cheap But Here’s A Free One

Hello Love Thang Village,  It hasn’t been a secret, but recently, what had happened was… Earlier in December, we held our 6th Managing The Flow relationship retreat for couples and unmarried folks. It was like a good meal…You had to be there to enjoy it! We were blessed with another sold out event and turned […]

Tips For Living With Your Spouse’s Unaddressed Triggers

Sooo, it doesn’t take much for your spouse to believe a discussion is a disagreement or to take normal negotiation between a husband and wife to the left..? Before you leave, what can you do? There are a few options. One of the worst things to occur in a marriage when one person is triggered […]

How To Talk To Each Other During a Pandemic

Love Thang Village,

Ya’ll told us that you’ve been running out of these to talk about with your spouse. When you have found words, often they didn’t feel like the right ones as they didn’t create the “That’s It” vibe you wanted.

You try and start all over again. We’ve got a quick time investment for you to try. Let’s slash the time you spend looking for the right words in half with a these prized and proven scripts. These questions are for the faint at heart. This is for grown and married folks!

Love Thang Talk for Couples 

  1. When I touch you, how does it feel? Do I feel strong? Or slow and gentle? How would you like me to touch you differently?

  2. What is your favorite type of foreplay? What type of foreplay kills your arousal? Is there a part of foreplay you’d like us to work on?

  3.  Do I neglect to touch your favorite places? Is that true for us? What are some of your favorite places?

  4. Would it help if I asked you what do you want and need?

  5. Do you feel embarrassed to ask for stimulation from me? If so, what can I do to make it easier for you? I want to please you as best I can.

Now, if you get distracted by the children, news, last minute “TO DO” chores, get back on track quickly. You can pick these questions and put them down as needed. Don’t rush! Good things take time.

An FYI for you, successful couples spend a minimum of 3 hours together weekly. Make sure you get yours in. Want to hear what others have said when using our “Whoa!” words with their spouse?

No worries! We got you.

“Counseling has brought me and my husband closer than ever and our relationship is better than it has ever been and is continuing to make us better people…”

Now, go ahead and do that!

Let us know how it works out for you!

Thank you

Hasan “THE HIM” and Naaila

Lessons Ain’t Cheap But Here’s A Free One

Hello Love Thang Village, 

It hasn’t been a secret, but recently, what had happened was…

Earlier in December, we held our 6th Managing The Flow relationship retreat for couples and unmarried folks. It was like a good meal…You had to be there to enjoy it! We were blessed with another sold out event and turned folks away at the last hour. We’re gonna let ya’ll in on a secret, unless you bring a bag lunch, after the catering head count has been turned in…that’s all folks! Our events has timelines, deadlines and sold out lines!  Anyway…

We got a “MONDAY FREEBIE” we’re gonna let you in on cause we believe you need to be in the KNOW KNOW.

At the Washington, DC retreat, we play a game called, “He Said-She Said” : Relationship Rap.

Well, after a couple of rounds, folks get comfortable, which is the intent. Discussions included money and misguided feminine energy in women. You don’t have to take a guess to know the room got warm! 

A level of comfort had developed and one wife specifically began to describe her husband’s lack of ambition and how her father termed him a “John Doe” prior to marriage. In his behalf, the husband responded how he defined wealth and it was in being surrounded by his children, which he continued to play a major fatherhood role, which the wife also noted.
On the other hand, she was not to be swayed from her original point!

She felt she had not married her equal…was frustrated and felt her husband’s position created resentment in her over the years. She disclosed how sessions with Naa’ila resolved  much of this as Naa’ila redirected her to herself (Ya’ll know how we do!)

The following day, during a couples exercise, she stated, “I married my soul male.” 

When external factors such as family, societal expectations and personal preferences were removed, she was able to look at her husband differently and with Midas-touch appreciation. Might we add, this couple had been married for over 25 years! Folks, the stuff you see you don’t like is real. We’ll never tell ya it isn’t valid or uncomfortable. But there’s more behind this shameless truth. Every now and again, the unimagined raw truth folded up neatly as a complaint, concern or argument ain’t real stuff.

It’s your wants and “don’t wants” labeled differently.
Wait there’s more to this free lesson, you fail to see how your faults influence another person. How much does the other person have to switch and to flip to modify self to deal with you? Hmmmm…..

When you never see it coming, you may notice your partner is your soul mate.

The cost for this lesson? $Free.99

We pray the retreat guests had this same takeaway and others. In order to get yours, you’ll have to attend a retreat and get your own. The Hamptons, located in Long Island, NY, is the luxurious spot for the next retreat. Dat house is gonna be up one!

Until next time, take care of yourself and the villagers in your circle.

Thank you,

Hasan “THE HIM” and Naa’ila

Tips For Living With Your Spouse’s Unaddressed Triggers

Sooo, it doesn’t take much for your spouse to believe a discussion is a disagreement or to take normal negotiation between a husband and wife to the left..?

Before you leave, what can you do?

There are a few options. One of the worst things to occur in a marriage when one person is triggered is for TWO people to get sparked. Let’s keep it to a minimum. If you know your spouse can get lit easily, don’t behave as lighter fluid. There will be someone out there saying, “Why I always gotta be the one to fall back?…Why can’t he/she be the one to give in sometimes?”

If this is your set up, stop now and email us at info@ThatClayCouple.com.  Act now! When folks have reached this point, feelings of self-sacrifice and resentment have moved in or eyeing your marriage for a takeover. Let’s do something quickly.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming….

Please don’t try to convince a rattled spouse to feel or to think differently. This is not to suggest you shut down or hide your opinion. Never would we suggest this! However, let’s look at this realistically. Is this person really going to hear you in this mindset? It ain’t gonna happen.

Truthfully, when you get in your feelin’s you may be hard to pry apart also. Allow the person the opportunity to refocus and to allow their ears to work more than their mouths!

We’re gonna let you in on a secret. In these moments, your spouse ain’t really talking to you anyway! You’re there and may be the only person in the house. The most undeniable target for whatever your spouse is saying in this moment is likely a historical figure such as an Ex…a childhood tormentor…a fake friend…or a parent.

Fall back from the emotional and mental strike. Keep yourself safe. Gather your beliefs, values, favorite shoes, prayers and secure yourself! Abuse isn’t for you to own or to accept.

Don’t get pulled into the mood! When you don’t, you create a space of trust and safety. Your spouse knows he or she can be human, display their flaws and you’ll remain in a position to negotiate with them….later.

Let us know how it works out!

Hasan “THE HIM” and Naa’ila