MCM: A Candid Look at the Unfair Expectations Placed on Men in Relationships

Ya’ll, there’s a story being told by the men in the village. It’s often unspoken, but deeply felt. Maybe even ignored at times. Men are getting hip to an imbalance being handed to them.

Men sense they are often expected to shoulder more burdens and suppress their feelings. They believe they’re expected to take the high road, to be the bigger person, even when they’re in the right.

Ladies, lemme find out! Could this be true? Stop playin’! It is.

Let’s look at a couple we work with… John, a dedicated man married to Layaan. When disagreements arise, John feels the weight of her expectation for him to back down, to maintain peace, even when he’s right. If Lisa is wrong, she wants to be met with gentleness. John doesn’t have access to this option. He’s a man so he should suck it up. Her actions are seemingly devoid of the same level of consequences John faces.

And, to bear the brunt of the situation without complaint!

He’s supposed to be okay even if Lisa doesn’t experience the natural outcomes of her actions. This dynamic, where the man is expected to bear more losses is something many men find unfair. They feel that just because they are men, it’s supposed to be cool.

And it isn’t.

Men, if you’re reading this and find your own experiences in John’s story, know you’re not alone. Many men feel this way. It’s important to bring these feelings into the light.

Fairness in a relationship isn’t about keeping score, but about mutual respect and understanding. It’s about acknowledging the validity of each other’s feelings and experiences.

If you’re feeling like you’re always expected to take the high road, open up with Bae. It’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding and growing together. Sound overwhelming? No worries. In a few sessions, we can facilitate this conversation for you. Let us know. It’s okay to express your feelings and to expect fairness in your relationship.

Tell us what you think. Let’s start a conversation about this, and work towards relationships where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

See ya soon,


Tips To Long-Distance Relationships Like A Pro

We’re not wasting time! So far, tell us what you’ve heard about long-distance relationships you never considered from our prior blogs?

Today, let’s identify the potholes on the road of long-distance love. The first one – unclear communication about time spent together or connecting digitally. Dang! This is frustrating. Sometimes, you don’t know Bae had a bad day and needs your pep talk.

It can feel like emotional neglect when you don’t know when you’ll see or hear from Bae. You’re stuck in limbo. You could call, but you don’t want to be a bother or look thirsty! Be clear about what is considered regular contact.

Next up, a lack of boundaries is a no-no. Imagine navigating a road with all the one-way streets without any road signs. Chaos, right? That’s what a relationship without boundaries feels like – confusing and often leading nowhere good!

Lastly, there are unexpressed expectations. Ever tried to explain to a newcomer the difference between Peachtree Street, Peachtree Road, and Peachtree Circle in Atlanta? It’s tough!

Let’s navigate to a couple of fresh solutions!

Tip 1: Regularly take a relationship inventory. Discuss what’s working and what isn’t. Let’s say Susan and Mike decided to do this every month. They discovered Mike feels left out of Susan’s daily life. They decided to share their day’s highs and lows every evening, bridging the gap and relieving his feelings of neglect. Conversations make the difference!

Tip 2: Have a contingency plan for when things go wrong. Cause they will! Take Jamal and Fatima, for instance. They agreed if a planned video call couldn’t happen, they’d leave each other a sweet voicemail message. This maintains the connection and shows care. If you can’t do what you said you could do originally, offer another option.

Remember, folks, if you need a ‘roadside assistance’ for your relationship, we’re ready to guide you with professional, compassionate advice.

Long-distance love might feel like a marathon. With clear communication, solid boundaries, and regular check-ins, your relationship can stay as strong and vibrant! Fa sho!

Now, let’s talk about a tool as invaluable as a front-row seat at an NBA game, our premarital guide. This book is the ultimate playbook for your long-distance relationship. It’s divided into sections that cover all you need to know about love from afar: communication, setting boundaries, expressing expectations, and so much more.

This premarital guide is like your own personal relationship coach, on-call 24/7. It provides practical exercises and prompts to navigate relationship hurdles.

What’s more, it’s packed with real-life scenarios and success stories that’ll inspire you to keep going when the road gets tough. We know ya’ll don’t back down from a challenge.

If you’re ready to make your long-distance relationship legendary, this premarital guide is a must-have.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Caught In The Codependency Trap?

Caught in the Codependency Web: When ‘Us’ Becomes You

Today, we’re tackling a topic as complex and layered —codependency.  Codependency can be tricky, but don’t worry. We have and emotional GPS to guide you.

What’s the 411 on Codependency?

Well, simply put, it’s when you’re so tangled up in another person, partner, friend, or family you lose yourself in the process. It’s like when you’re trying to score those sweet tickets to the show or game and you’re so focused on getting the best seats you forget to pay rent on time. Not a good look…right?

Codependency is like that, but on steroids. It’s more than being overly invested or caring too much. We’re discussing a situation where your self-esteem, emotional well-being, and mental and physical health are tied up in another person’s problems or approval.

It’s like your happiness GPS is locked onto someone else’s destination. You get so wrapped up in this you forget who you are. Many will call this love, but when you abandon loving yourself for the sake of another…Nah.

Let’s keep it a hunnit! Recognizing codependency isn’t as easy as spotting the moon at night. You gotta look hard for it at times! Here are two tips to help you identify the signs:

  1. You’re always on rescue mode. You ever felt like you’re always trying to fix someone else’s problems, even when they don’t ask for help? Like you’re their personal superhero, but without the cool cape or the thank-you parade. Something tells you that you’re responsible. Welp, that’s a classic sign. You’re not their therapist. Their issues shouldn’t consume your life and the person can’t manage their life thru you.

  2. Your mood depends on their mood. If they’re having a bad day, suddenly you’re down in the dumps. Many will call this being an empath. This may be hard to hear, but having boundaries relieves some of the empath burden. On the other hand, if the person is all sunshine and rainbows, you’re walking on cloud nine. Your emotional state shouldn’t be a mirror of theirs. You are a different person with your own vibe.

How Does Codependency Impact Us?

Let’s say codependency is like driving on I285 in Atlanta in rush hour traffic. It can cause unnecessary stress, frustration, mental exhaustion and use up your fuel for life.

It keeps you from focusing on yourself because you’re too wrapped up in someone else’s issues. You might lose sight of your own goals, interests, and needs. Plus, it can also lead to a severe imbalance in relationships, leading to resentment, anger, and burnout.

Origins of Codependency

Now, where does this codependency behavior come from? It’s not something they teach in school, right? So how does it develop? Codependency often springs from upbringing. If you grew up in a home with a parent having a chronic illness, addiction, or  emotional expression was discouraged, you might have learned to prioritize others’ needs over your own. This pattern can persist into adulthood, leading to codependent relationships.

Overcoming Codependency

Real talk, overcoming codependency ain’t easy, but totally doable. Let’s give you a couple of tips:

1. Self-Education:

Knowledge can be empowering. It’s a crucial first step to overcoming codependency. Educate yourself about what codependency is, why it occurs, and how it impacts you.

There are countless books, articles, and online resources available. A couple of highly recommended books include “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie and “The New Codependency” by the same author. These resources offer insights into the roots of codependency, the behaviors that perpetuate it, and strategies for change.

2. Mindfulness and Meditation:

Mindfulness and meditation practices can be beneficial to overcome codependency. They promote self-awareness to stay in the present, rather than getting caught up in someone else’s emotions or problems.

By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to identify your own needs and feelings separately from the other person’s. You also learn to react less impulsively to situations, giving you the ability to establish healthier boundaries.

3. Hit us up for therapy.

Remember, you’re just as valuable, deserving, and worthy as the person you’re in a relationship with. There’s no need to sacrifice your happiness for someone else’s.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

The Key Benefits Of Brain Dumping

Life can be overwhelming. It’s easy for anxious thoughts to take over.  Has this happened to you? We have a powerful tool to share with you, the brain dump. It’s a simple yet effective technique to help you regain control and find clarity amidst the chaos.

Brain dumping is like a journaling session, but with a time limit. Grab a pen and paper, set a timer for 5-10 minutes, and let your thoughts flow freely. Write down everything that comes to mind on a specific topic. Trust me, getting your thoughts out on paper can work wonders! It gets it off of you!

The benefits are remarkable. You remember what you need to accomplish, clear up headspace for new information to flow in, and organize thoughts. You’ll notice an improvement in focus, concentration, and self-awareness. And let’s not forget the stress reduction and enhanced recall and memory.

Now, let’s explore four different types of brain dumps to try:

  1. Morning Starter Brain Dump: Begin your day by jotting down all your thoughts, worries, and to-do lists. It’s a fantastic way to set your intentions and clear your mind for the day ahead.

  2. Learning Brain Dump: After absorbing new information or learning a new skill, write down everything you’ve learned. It enhances recall and helps you internalize the knowledge more effectively. Great for studying too!

  3. Appreciation Brain Dump: Take 10 minutes to list as many things you’re grateful for. Dive deep into the details and truly feel those positive emotions. It’s a powerful practice that boosts your mood and expands your gratitude. This keeps your head and heart focused on the good.

  4. The Overwhelmed Brain Dump: When life feels hectic and overwhelming, pause and pour out everything weighing your mind. This brain dump lets you let go, de-stress, and gain clarity. It’s a game-changer for regaining focus and organizing your thoughts.

Which brain dump will you practice? Give it a try and witness its positive impact on your well-being. The brain dump technique is a valuable addition to your mental toolbox. Use it, and watch your life transform for the better.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Practical Questions To Uncover Relationship Red Flags


Let’s have some real talk. It’s time for the tea! Earl Grey or Chai for you?

Couples need to assess the health of their relationship before marriage regularly. Read that again! BEFORE!

To help, here are some questions you and Bae can ask each other.

  1. Do we communicate openly and often?

  2. Are our expectations about the future aligned?

  3. Do we respect each other’s boundaries and personal space?

  4. Is there a balance in our relationship or does one person seem to be doing all the heavy lifting?

  5. Are your needs being met?

  6. Are communication breakdowns a recurring issue?

  7. Are there any unaddressed issues that keep resurfacing?

  8. How does Bae react when you express disagreement?

  9. How frequently do you feel cared for versus uncared?

  10. Does Bae support your personal goals and ambitions and how do you know?

  11. Do you find yourself making excuses for Bae’s behavior to yourself or others? What are you trying to keep hidden?

Folks often steer clear of these questions. The reason? Good ol’ fashioned fear. Fear of digging up conflict, fear of facing difficult truths, and fear of upsetting the comfortable status quo. Do you know what to do with the data from these questions? You don’t get an answer and move to the next one. Hmmmm….inquiring minds wanna know!

You know how you get anxious when the check engine light comes on in the car? It doesn’t benefit you to ignore this cue. Same for this glaring light shining in your face! Avoiding these questions can lead to complications down the road. It can brew up a storm of resentment. Then, the emotional distance can become more about loneliness than love.

Addressing these issues head-on is timely maintenance for your relationship. Ignoring them could lead to a bumpy ride, potentially causing damage that’s hard to repair.

Now, how can you efficiently address these issues? Our premarital guide is your ticket to a smoother journey. It’s like your relationship’s personal driver. Guiding you through every twist and turn. This guide is filled with exercises, activities, and advice to easily spot and tackle any red flags in your relationship!

This book is your solution. It will guide you to express yourself clearly and openly, ensuring both you and Bae feel heard, understood, and valued. Yes!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

How Hormones Shape Romantic Dynamics For Men And Women

Let’s jump into the fascinating concept of “romantic sacrifice” in relationships, and why it’s important for both men and women to understand. It’s not as complicated as it sounds! Men and women give all kinds of cues that go unnoticed.

Sacrifice is like a double-edged sword in relationships. On one side, it seems incredibly romantic. On the other hand, it can lead to compromise gone wrong and, worst of all, the dreaded resentment rollercoaster ride. Understanding the hormonal differences between men and women is the key to unraveling this mystery. We’ll break it down for ya.

In men, the act of sacrifice triggers the release of testosterone, the hormone of champions! Having sufficient testosterone levels makes sacrificing for their partners feel like an epic feat for men. It’s like being a hero, sweeping in to save the day with a grand gesture. If he loves you, he wants to be your hero. Remember those early days in a relationship when a man selflessly offered his jacket to Bae? That’s man stuff!

Here’s the catch…When testosterone levels run low, sacrifice doesn’t give that same feel-good boost. It can leave him feeling depleted and drained. Sacrificing on an empty tank over time is a recipe for the infamous resentment rollercoaster.  You want to avoid that!

Now, let’s shift gears and talk about women and their unique experiences with romantic sacrifice. When a woman sacrifices her own needs for Bae, it’s not exactly the stuff of romance novels. It’s not about women being more “selfish”.  It’s simply that releasing testosterone doesn’t have the same stress-reducing, feel-good effect on women as it does on men.

But wait! God knew exactly what He was doing! There’s another hormone in town, oxytocin!  Women are natural givers, lovers, and nurturers. When women give from a place of abundance, it’s like a hormonal jackpot. The slot machine is going off!

Giving from a full heart releases oxytocin, which lowers her stress levels and feels incredibly rewarding. It’s like a warm, cozy hug for her soul.

However, when she gives from a place of stress or scarcity, awww Mahn!  It turns into sacrifice. Everyone gets a free ticket on the resentment rollercoaster! To prevent this, ya’ll, find ways to give from a place of fullness and abundance.

Now that we’ve unraveled the mysteries of romantic sacrifice, let’s talk about two simple steps to eliminate resentment in relationships. These steps apply to everyone, regardless of gender.

Firstly, it’s crucial to recognize when you’re not in a position to give. Before saying “yes” to your partner’s requests or seeking support, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask, “Do I have the emotional or physical capacity to give right now, or will I end up mad if I do this?” If you can give wholeheartedly, do so! But leave reserves for you. It if is going to take all you have in the moment, reconsider.  If you’re not in the right space at all, it’s perfectly okay to say, “I can’t right now, but I’d be happy to help you later.” Setting those boundaries can save you from resentment down the road.

Secondly, giving from a place of fullness and abundance is important. For men, this means focusing on rebuilding your testosterone levels. When your testosterone is low, sacrifice feels heavy. There are ways to boost your testosterone naturally! Take some “cave time” to recharge and refuel. Whether it’s watching TV, playing a video game, or simply resting, find activities that help you rebuild. Sis, sometimes you gotta leave that man be!

Simple changes, and new insight, can bring on light bulb moments. What light came on for you? We hope it was a bright one!

Are you struggling with feelings of resentment in your relationships? We have just the solution for you! Introducing our highly effective resentment webinar that will help you break free from those emotional blocks and find a path toward resolution.

Resentment can be a real relationship killer. We can give you tips, but you gotta get on the other side. It’s essential to address it head-on. Our webinar is designed to provide you with the tools and strategies to overcome resentment and foster healthier, happier connections. Check it out and get off the rollercoaster ride!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Why Saying ‘No’ Can be the Ultimate Act of Self-Love

Hello You!

Having boundaries is a crucial aspect of maintaining viable relationships, but it’s a concept that’s often misunderstood. Many people mistakenly believe setting boundaries means being selfish or pushy, or that it will lead to conflict with their loved ones. However, these misconceptions can be corrected with a bit of education and understanding.

It’s important to recognize having boundaries is not a selfish act, but rather a way to ensure your needs and well-being are respected. Just like you have physical boundaries, like personal space, you also have emotional boundaries. They protect you from being taken advantage of or hurt by others.

A key place folks teeter the line with setting limits is with relatives or a spouse. Do you have a relative you hate to see coming because you’re bracing yourself for the words that come out of their mouths?

Maybe you get anxiety at the thought of going to Bae with a concern because all you hear is it is your fault since you’re the one with the issue anyway. Sound familiar?

Let’s debunk the myth that setting boundaries is selfish. It’s actually quite the opposite. By setting boundaries, you are taking care of yourself and your needs. And when you’re in a better place, you’re able to give more to those around you. Mood all day!

Another common misconception about boundaries is they will lead to conflict. Without them, conflict is fed a steady diet for survival! Let’s starve this beast!

While it’s true some folks may not respond positively to your boundaries at first, it’s important to remember relationships are built on mutual respect. You have to hold to this standard before anyone else. Basically, way too often, the first person to violate your boundary is YOU!

Boundaries are not fixed or rigid. They can be adjusted and negotiated based on changing circumstances or new information. By remaining flexible and open to feedback, you can create relationships that are built on mutual respect and understanding.

We’ll dive deeper into the benefits of having boundaries,  and how to maintain them in our class, “The Boundaries Blueprint”. So may of you signed up yesterday! Amazing!

In case you didn’t, this closing line is for you. Register now and start prioritizing your well-being.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila


Going From Tantrums to Teachable Moments With Your Child

Hello Parent!

Parenting has been one of the most painful and rewarding and selfless and never-ending journey’s we’ve ever done. For those with younger children, this is for you.

As a matter of fact, this may help with the older ones too!
When we give consequences, we are teaching natural consequences exist for actions. In addition, the child has to take responsibility for their behavior.

It is vital to remember consequences should be age-appropriate and reasonable.You are building and planting the seed for a future adult the world will experience. Let this be one of your best ventures ever!

When you choose consequences ahead of time …

*you are more likely to be fair

*your child knows to expect the consequences to fit the misbehavior

*you can teach missing skills to help your child improve long-term behavior

Sound consequences are:

• Mild—does not cause physical or emotional harm

• Kind—does not involve anger, yelling, humiliation, threats, or shame. Shame is a common one on social media.

• Logical—results logically from the misbehavior

*Instructive—involves practicing the missing skill

• Understood—agreed upon beforehand

• Simple to give and track (e.g. a Chores Jar and Tracking Sheet)

• Consistent—negative behavior results in negative consequence

• Loving—followed by a sincere expression of affection

• Safe—never violates a child’s basic human rights to food, shelter, emotional and physical safety, love, or education.

As Parents, let’s be better. Your child deserves it.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

Hello You

Welcome to the world of holistic wellness in the Love Thang Village! If you’re looking for a natural and effective way to boost your mental and physical health, meditation is the perfect practice for you. You’re hanging out with the cool kids by being here, so we know you want light and serene environment.

Hasan and I have been trained to in the method of Transcendental Meditation. It ain’t your typical “close ya eye and concentrate on your breathing” method. Which makes it even more meaningful! TM is the only meditation practice endorsed by the American Medical Association and American Heart Association.

Not only can meditation help reduce emotional strain, body aches and anxiety, but it can keep your heart clock ticking.

Through regular meditation, you can create your own internal corner of self-awareness and emotional regulation. This allows you to better manage the ups and downs of life. You live in this world, but internally, you are separate from it. You learn to live with the peace of having your own internal safety at all times.

But why stop at the basic practice of meditation when you can elevate your experience with our luxurious meditation candle? Our candles are handcrafted with all-natural ingredients. You’ll find a QR code to access the TM video. The well-scented candles are the perfect addition to jumpstart your TM practice.

The warm glow and soothing aroma will transport you to a place of calm and tranquility. Imagine listening to your video recording with Naaila guiding you through a TM.

Anytime you like.

When you’ve been crying.

When needing peace.

When your back aches.

When you feel lonely.

They’re the perfect tool for anyone looking to enhance their holistic wellness routine.

So, if you’re ready to take your meditation practice to the next level, try our meditation candle today. You won’t be disappointed! Indulge in the ultimate self-care experience with our sensual and holistic meditation candles.

Order now. Your mind, heart, and body will repay you a bag full of mental balance. Don’t wait to take your soft-life journey to the next level with our luxurious meditation candles.

Remember, your well-being is a top priority. Embrace a more mindful and holistic lifestyle with the help of our all-natural meditation candles.

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila

How To Unleash Your Inner Rebel

Today, let’s dive into a topic that hits home for many of us. Redefining success. We live in a world where society often dictates what success should look like, but guess what? It’s time to break free from molds and create your definitions of personal fulfillment.

Picture this: you’re a college-educated, ambitious person with dreams and aspirations as bright as the morning skyline. Have you ever considered whether your goals align with your desires and values? It’s time to challenge those societal norms and explore alternative paths to success that put your happiness and self-fulfillment front and center. You could be denying parts of what you really want and not notice it. Sometimes folks have normalized doing what others want.

Here’s the deal: success isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s about living life on your own terms and finding joy in the journey. How do you start redefining success and pursuing personal fulfillment?

First, take a deep breath. Ask yourself, “What brings me joy?” It could be traveling the world, pursuing a creative passion or making a difference in your community. Never forget, what brings you joy may not be the thing that gets most of your time. Sometimes, it is not your job!

Embrace those dreams. Don’t be afraid to go after them, even if they don’t fit the conventional mold.

Next, it’s time to let go of the fear of judgment. It is everywhere. It lurks. It is in your face. Society might have certain expectations, but remember, this is YOUR life. Surround yourself with a supportive tribe of like-minded individuals who champion your choices and encourage  growth.

Finally, celebrate the small wins along the way. Success isn’t always about big milestones or reaching specific benchmarks. It’s about finding fulfillment in everyday moments, appreciating the journey, and honoring your progress. If you gave the day all ya got, and that equals 40%, well done!

We’ve got you on this journey of redefining success. Our  self-acceptance webinar is packed with inspiring stories, practical tips, and exercises. Uncover your true passions, set meaningful goals, and design a life that aligns with your values. Do it boldly without limiting beliefs about you.

So, beautiful souls, it’s time to rewrite the rules of success and pursue fulfillment beyond societal expectations. Love on you. This isn’t getting your nails done. Think about it. Your nails have been done. Your face could be beat, but internally, your emotional face is bruised. Let your self-compassion be the compass to lead the way. Grab the recorded webinar, with the exercises included.  Join the movement. Redefine success and the nurturing of self. It’s a beautiful bond to see!

See ya soon,

THE HIM and Naaila