How To Avoid the High Costs of Meeting Someone Online: What Is Your Marriage Budget?

Before you marry, know your marriage budget. This isn’t about how much you can spend for a wedding, reception or for invitations. This marriage budget is about how much  your heart can afford to take or to lose. A heart is a sensitive resource and the cost of its repair requires a great deal of time, effort, tears, ice cream at 2 am and maybe even counseling. No one wants to pay this!

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We’re going to look at some basic requirements and actions needed when meeting someone online to reduce heart repair or damage!

1. Ask yourself, how much time and cash flow you have to invest to know if someone meets your criteria. If you cannot afford to travel to Timbuktu, quit following and liking the pics of the Timbuktu heart slayers on social media! If your Southwest Rapid Rewards will not let you be great enough to access Timbuktu love, then keep your love within a 2-block radius of what you have the capacity to do. Keep your love in your vicinity!

If your job does not allow you to take time off at this time to visit the Timbuktu Love Of Your Life, then consider local loves. Look a lil harder when you go to the grocery store. What about the man who always repairs your car? He’s kinda cute!

2. It only requires the cost of the internet or your already-paid cellphone bill to connect, to run game, to meet, to begin liking and to talk with someone online. A heart has much higher expenditures. In today’s technological world, you can virtually date someone in Turkey this Friday night and not speak Turkey-talk at all! However, your love language needs to be able to verbalize itself and to communicate correctly. Just because you can meet native Turkish citizens, Kemal and Ayse online, and talk for days, it does not mean your heart needs to invest in Tuonline_0.jpgrkish love. You don’t even have a passport! This contact will go no further than Instagram and Facebook. This isn’t fair to anyone at all.

It costs to do your due diligence to meet a person,  to see their home so you can know how a person lives, to meet their family and to go to the city the person resides in if she/he isn’t local to you. In addition, premarital counseling outranks many of the actions you can take to learn if this person is able to devote their life to paying the costs to loving you for life. Go HERE to get the help needed to make this happen. Wouldn’t it feel great to not only be in love, getting married, but to have a “shout-it-all-out” type of security about your partner? You can.

If you cannot afford the travel costs and time required to to court someone, OFFLINE, you cannot afford to marry this person.

Using your limited funds with cash and time as an excuse to not follow through with the basics for marriage means you exceeded your marriage budget. Stay within what you have the capacity to allow your time, money and heart to do.

6 “Should Do’s” Before Saying, “I Do!”

Hmmm…So folks believe going to a member of the clergy before marriage, 1-3 times, is premarital counseling. Ohh…ok. 🤔  We’re surprised cause few actually get premarital counseling.
Truth be told…& we know you want the truth…most folks get premarital advice-not counseling. If we had a brick for every couple in marriage counseling with us who had been to “premarital counseling” with their pastor or imam, we could rebuild the yellow brick road!

premarital-counseling-todo-listHasan & I created & teach our own 6-week, State of Georgia-approved, premarital course covering eight “I-Didn’t-Even-Think-About-That” areas. 👌🏽  Don’t worry. Get happy! No need to doubt if your Bae is like #HurtBae or Romeo. Get our  Details  and tell your friends before another breakup or divorce is born! 👍🏽 But for right now, we’re gonna give you some premarital info to help you navigate these heart highways:

1. Don’t go to premarital counseling because you PLAN to marry. Use premarital counseling to decide if ya’ll SHOULD marry each other.

2. Don’t wait until you have a wedding date, cake & the giggles to set up premarital counseling. If you do, you want premarital advice, not premarital counseling. There’s a difference! You can get good advice from a member of the clergy, married mentor or an elder. With good premarital counseling, ya’ll may change or cancel that date!

3. Do not lie or embellish the truth to prevent heartache or out of fear someone won’t marry you if they know learn a previously unknown truth about you. Divorce causes more pain. 😔

4. Accept recommendations given by the premarital counselor. If you know you ain’t trying to hear it 🚫 & your mind is made up about getting married. Cool! Think through the what you want to get from premarital counseling.  Real talk…counseling is not meant to tell you what to do. You’re grown! However…a counselor isn’t there to lie to you because you paid them either. At least Hasan & I don’t…

5. Know you may learn surprising 😳😔😖 information about the other person in the premarital process. Use a counselor who provides individual sessions, for each of you, so you can recover from the shock attacks you may get on the heart highway!

6. Be open! Don’t limit your thinking. Limited thinking limits your options! You deserve a solid plan to begin your start for wedded bliss and not a wedded bummer!

Hasan & Naa’ila
“Ossie & Ruby Dee of Marriage Counseling”

You Make Me Sick… For Real

Remember the last time you looked at the person you loved and thought, “I can’t stand you.” You meant it, but not really. You did in that precise moment, but not forever more.

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Love is such a funny emotion because the people we love give us an array of experiences. And each experience has its own gut-wrenching, love-filled, God-fearing, nail-biting and heart-felt thoughts with it.

Do you remember the song, “What’s Love Got To do With It?” It has everything to do with it. Love keeps us in these relationships and marriages. Love is the glue. Love is the Mr.Clean-power for our heartbroken moments. Love is what keeps us together. However, we don’t mean that love disappears in the moments when you can’t stand the person you love. The love of the commitment. The love of loyalty. Love of family. The love of God sustains us through those moments when a person we love doesn’t show up in the most loving way.

And when I can’t stand you, I can stand on the things that I love that we have created together. THE HIM and Naa’ila