THE HIM, my husband, said something to push me to the edge.
His words caused me to look at him differently, and ya’ll know, I look at him with a soft eye.
When I recall the moment, my stomach pauses a moment, all over again, like it did the minute moment it all occurred.

I see the dull sunlight hitting across his face and spreading itself on the wall behind him.

Then, quickly, and forever, everything between us changed.

He said, “My eyes are getting darker. Praise be to God.”

I stopped everything in my hands and told my heart to wait for me. My heart has never listened well. My past relationships show that and it didn’t leave me wanting this time either. My heart raced. And slowed down. Raced again.
I said nothing.
He stared straight ahead as he does frequently at home. I know he’s in his “mental moment” and solving the world’s problems, balancing the national budget, mentally auditing Trump’s taxes, praying, wondering what’s for dinner or meditating.
Basically, he’s a deep thinker. Always.

After a few moments passed, I asked, “Did you hear what you said? You told me your eyes have less sight and then you praised your Lord? That’s a pretty high personal achievement. I’ve never heard you speak this way.”
He said, “I know.” And moved on to live his life while the remaining eye-related darkness slowly targets him through glaucoma. He seemed ok.
Me? I was stuck.
My heart became a telescope for me to see my husband in a way I’d never achieved before now. If this man had reached a level of self-awareness to express this level of humility for his loss of sight, I knew I was gon’ hafta work on my own character. I ain’t there! Not today.

During this loss of sight journey, we have lost so much. Things you can see and things you cannot. We have argued. Been angry. Cried together. Cried alone. Blamed each other. Blamed ourselves. I have looked at him, breath to breath, with tears in my tears and he couldn’t see them. I have no regrets for his inability to see my tears. I was able to get his comfort, release my emotion and keep my internal privacy as he lived such a public pain. Now, it is my prayer, with a blind man leading our spiritual way, we will always see a need to praise God in the good and to praise God with the bad.
I’m not naive. We’re gonna get tested again on this journey, but I see more praise coming for us.

Let us clear our throats for this one. We want to make sure folks hear and hear good. Lean in closer. Lil’ closer.

Ok. That’s good! Many believe the marriage retreat coming up any nothin’ the community needs. We gon’ tell the truth. Every community needs it, but the Black community has a need so big it reaches underground level.
We need to put this retreat on CD’s and sell them at the barber shop. The kick back, clap back and roll back like Walmart, all equaling divorce, flow like the plague. There is an antidote. You don’t even need ObamaCare to get it!

It’s all within you!

This video make the connect to the #marriageretreat we’re hosting with Imam Shadeed Muhammad. You don’t wanna miss the reasons behind it. It is “Shut-Yo-Mouf” real!

Learn more here. https://www.facebook.com/events/1172101806259299/?ti=icl

Even if you don’t go to the retreat, what OOPS! action are parents passing on to grown children? Parents, we gotta do more than food, clothing and shelter for our children. They grow up and take their gaps, bigger than Michael Strahan’s cute gap. Google him and see what we talkin’ bout!

Ok…take a sneak peek at retreat topics, such as, “How are you missing the good behaviors during #engagement that jack you up in the marriage?” You get the “how right now”, but not the “What-Chu-Should-Not-Do” info here.

Trust us! It’s something in this video for you or someone ya know!

Wanna know about err’thang the whole weekend so these 3 reasons can miss you with that? The ways to neutralize the toxins is in that link right there.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1172101806259299/permalink/1194283050707841/

What are you waiting for? Time’s a ticking!
Online options for the retreat are coming! TBA. You thought we didn’t think about the villagers at home? Nah Bruh! We got chu too!
#ThatClayCouple #Rawdah

The lies you tell yourself are becoming a hardship for us all cause we can’t benefit from your good cause you don’t see.

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Ya see, cause of the random naysaying throwing-shade-at-yourself-talk you say to self, you get stuck. Don’t progress. And the world loses out on your gifts

It ain’t fair!

When you lie to yourself about how about badly you need your job because you don’t want to be broke, tell the truth about how broke you already are.

Can you get broker than broke? Once your coins get on the down low, your come up will come at a cost only God canlies-22 pay. Quit letting that job overwhelm you and you still can’t overcome the light bill. 

When  a co-worker made a comment about your consignment clothing, you lied and told yourself you never did like those pants.

When you quit telling yourself you ain’t crazy & your friend really is jealous of you…Thank God for knowing exactly what to pray about for him or her.

You knew she had been lightweight hating on you, but you convinced yourself there was no way anyone would envy your broke and used clothes wearing self. She wasn’t jealous of your closet. She desired the unseen gifts you tried to hide, but God revealed anyway.

When you didn’t know what to do about your family… Thank God for freeing you from it cause you didn’t know what to do.

If you don’t what to do with this freedom, we can guide you through it. 

When you stopped seeing how you were a blessing to others…Thank God for giving you humility even at the expense of your ego.

You can be glad your ego ain’t bigger than your consignment britches.

When you felt uncomfortable about what they did at work after they tossed your lil input aside… Thank God for the discomfort cause this is how you know comfort when you see it again.

Make room for the space that is about to come your way. Do the work to make it happen.

100When you didn’t shut your mouth & you wish you had…Thank God for your big mouth & ask Him to put it to good use before you get locked up behind it.

Your Momma always said your mouth would be your downfall and it will, after you breakthrough.

When your child embarrassed the mess out of you… Thank God for letting you know to be empathetic with another parent trying to raise a strong-willed child.

When you let your body be dishonored & devalued… Thank God for leading you to Him so you can know better.

The lies people tell you that you repeat to yourself, don’t come true because the words become your mental mantra. Those deadly words feel true cause you gave them life, but they are killin’ you.
Tell the truth about how these thoughts and feelings drag you. Tell the truth about how many times you think about it, over and over and over, again, at work, after work and a week later.  The Truth Shall Set You Free4.jpg

Telling the truth lets you free yourself from the lie so you can find relief in your own thoughts.

 

At the start of a new calendar year folks make many promises to themselves and to others. Thus far, THE HIM, Hasan, made the New Years Resolution to be more of the debonair and 30 lbs lighter man he assured me I would have all the days of my life if I married him. He lied! And if he loses 30 lbs, his legs may get to skinny.

Who wants that? So, let’s keep the weight so we can keep the legs.

See the trade off? It’s worth it…right?

Your life and well-being is so much more relevant than weight, skinny legs or to be delegated to 365 days in a New Years Resolution.

With that being said, here are 2 things NOT to do for 2018.

  1. You will not make any New Years Resolutions. We said it! Close your mouf! None. Not one.
    Your resolve comes over time. Some issues, you can create resolution in a month. In another matter, it may take the remainder of your life. Another heart thumper or head blocker may keep you stumped for a year or two. 2018 is not the beginning of your life. You jumpstart your life, not a new calendar year. You are the central focus of all of this. You make this merry round Go! Goal-Setting
    Sure, we encourage you to have self-awareness, to be a more directed learner, to put away your coins, to earn more coins, to start the business you want or to get the nerve to dye your hair purple in your 40’s. Do that! Help is here if you want it. Don’t relegate your desires, needs, dreams to a timeline created by man. We can work this out with you.
  2. You accept that your best moments may not develop in years or a specific year, but it will be moments in your life that give you the most joy.
    Have you ever asked an elder what they enjoyed most in their life? You’ll be hard-pressed to find one to tell you it was the year 1967 or Y2k.
    Most you say something like, “When my first child was born…Driving my first car… The moment I met your father…Graduating from college…Buying a house…Seeing my grandchild for the first time…” Or even sharing an endearing childhood memory. Who the heck says it was their New Year’s Resolution? No one. And you don’t have to start the pattern. high five.jpegSeek to create the best moments of your life and get in as many as you can. Now, that is something you can start in 2018.