Hello You!

Ya’ll know we use authentic speaking language in our writing style and when working with us one-on-one. We even wrote our premarital guide, Selection Perfection, using this same conversational style.

Folks say, ” I keep it one hunnit!” often, but don’t speak in 100% terms. Please don’t take this to mean we’re suggesting to be “brutally honest.” Honesty never has to be savage or crude.
Look at it along these lines…For example, someone may say, “My parent wasn’t really affectionate or complimentary to me as a child or as an adult.”

It sounds and feels nicer to speak this way about a parent versus say, “My parent was abusive and emotionally absent. Still is and it hurts.” Folks elect to use words that don’t fall hard on the ears. Yet, the outcomes of your experiences still weigh heavy on your head and heart.

Another example is the description of a “functioning alcoholic”. This is a person who is able to go to work, to pay bills, and continue to get drunk after hours. This person is still an alcoholic, at work or off of work.

See how it is a common practice to soften the blow verbally!
If an event or experience is heavy, in any capacity to your mind and spirit, different word choices won’t lessen the disruption for you.

Using disingenuous language comes from the false belief that this will prevent you from unraveling from what has occurred in your life.

Consider this…what if it’s ok to be undone? Acknowledging a string is loose is how you get it tied again. Sugarcoating the truth is not being authentic to you or to those you’re interacting with.

We won’t dismiss the difficulties associated with it. Using bonafide language to describe a moment in time means you have to hear the full gravity of the issue. It also means you become transparent. Transparency requires self-exposure or vulnerability.

These are real fears and concerns! Yet, you can’t change an issue you don’t acknowledge. Do a self-review and see if you speak in a sincere, forthright, and righteous manner. In order for someone to get the full picture of you, your experience, or your feedback, use speech that adds to the depth of the matter versus taking away from it.

Homework for you:
How can you reword your statements to be more comprehensive of how you truly feed?

Let us know what you come up with!

See ya soon,

Hasan and Naaila

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