It’s crazy how folks look at what other people have and want the same thing without even considering it may not be for them. Have you ever seen someone be someone about the blessings of another person? Or, when they hear about another person’s “Aw Yeah” moment, they don’t hooray or toss confetti in the air.
Instead, the person makes it about them and inserts their experience with something similar. Suddenly, it becomes about how this success story ain’t all that bright. How this person needs to be careful cause someone is always being shady. How they learned their lesson…blah…blah..blah.
Real quickly, the conversation has made a turn onto Hater Highway.
You direct the person to their narrow minded beliefs. You try to change the conversation. You no longer feel comfortable.
You did all you could, but this person is stuck. You gotta leave’em there and accept folks for who they are.
Same thing goes for your marriage. To kill a relationship faster than bug spray on a fly, don’t expect your spouse to change for you. They’ll fall out on you like you sprayed Raid all over them!
Take a step back and look within. No matter how much you want your spouse to be something or someone else, all he or she will be is who they are. We’ll never tell you folks can’t shift, but they’ll do so because they wanna. It may be for you, but they WANT to do it for you.
I remember when THE HIM went to an arts festival with me. He hated err’ minute of it, but he wanted to be with me. He tried to act like he liked it to not spoil it for me. I knew the truth! I was so appreciative of the gesture, I never asked him to go again! He’s glad too! This is how you make the marriage gifts about each of you.
You have key internal gifts to use. We know you use them for many great things, but when your talents are consumed to the white meat with making another person change, you’re wasting them. You’re looking for them to do the impossible!
The evolution you seek isn’t to be found in someone else. It is within you!
Talk to you soon,
Hasan “THE HIM” and Naaila