Hello Love Thang Village,
This one is for the ladies and for the men to give us a solid fist bump if we got it right!
If you follow us on social media, you know we’re all about burying the dead weight in relationships, including the one with yourself. Making it happen is a real shift. The cliche phrase, “Living My Best Life” has to be transformed into reality. No one wakes up like this.
Ladies, we’ve got a video describing the scenarios women make in relationships, married and unmarried- FROM A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE!
I asked THE HIM questions and ya’ll know THE HIM. He went IN, but in a gentle information fashion. Review this video Ladies. Then, look internally for a personal assessment. So many have said, “Oh Yeah…I do that…” Or, “My Ex told me I did that. I didn’t believe him.”
Hit PLAY and see what you see. Share with a friend.
We’re excited to hear the feedback and insight!
Oh, and a secret for you…our Washington, DC retreat only has a few couples seats remaining. Ain’t no cheap seats! Everyone is VIP! Get in while you can. bit.ly/MTFWashington.
Thank you, Hasan “THE HIM” and Naa’ila
Hello Love Thang Village!
For a whole 5 days, it’s about to be ON! You got it right here!
Folks had a hot love summer while yours was lukewarm or on ice! Let’s get the heat at least on simmer!
We have the most wondermous and FREE stuff for you starting on Thursday!
FREE “Love Thang” Actions For Your Marriage!
Many struggle with knowing what to do or say when in a “Not today” mood with their spouse. For the next 5 days, we have quick and easy blueprint for you to follow to intensify or reduce tension.
Go to our website, (www.thatclaycouple.com) subscribe to our blog/newsletter to learn what to do beginning TOMORROW if you haven’t already! Normally, a cost is attached to this information because it’s valuable and proven to work.
That’s what you want right?
These steps are taken directly from out e-workbook, Change Your Mindset Not Your Spouse.
Each day has a mindset motion goal to move to you to a more positive place which is followed by an action for you to do. Repeat this throughout the day. If at the start of the day, you’re unable to recall or to find a prior memory to attach to the thought, delay it for later. Don’t get trap-house stuck! Do what you need to do and come back to the thought later. You can use present characteristics, events or an old-school memory. For example, if you exert a great deal of effort to communicate with your spouse right now, think of a conversation the two of you had previously with ease.
All you need is one! Do this task every day, on good days and bad days of the relationship. This is one of the most basic steps to training your mindset in your marriage.
Your Thursday Thought: I am genuinely fond of my partner. Task: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.
See how smooth and mindset-friendly that is? No one asked you to believe it! Just put release this thought in your mind!
Let us know how it works for you!
Hasan “THE HIM” and Naa’ila
Aren’t these two great things to say and to feel?
You can send a message to yourself and to your relationship to make it feel like, “Heyy…this is what you said you wanted. I got it!”
Show yourself you can resolve your own issues without too much effort or work. Invest in products and services that don’t FEEL like work. Sure, some lifting will be involved with any relationship, but nothing over 25 lbs!
See what you can find for yourself! FYI…the #MTFWashington retreat link is there also. Only 2 Couples room remain. Folks are not waiting!
Or, visit us on Instagram @ThatClayCouple.
You see, many want to color this “paint and sip” picture of relationships with your spouse, your family and even yourself. Everyone is slidin’ in on those “haters”…whoever they are… when the real hate should be towards the negative perception we have about stability, love and making it happen consistently.
But, just like with anything else in life, as a couple and individuals, we have WONDERMOUS days and then there are the days when we’re like, “Don’t you have somewhere to go?” This is when we have to flick our own switch and remember to go to each other.
We got another retreat coming your way so you can go IN to each other. When you start to think, “Don’t you have somewhere to go?”, the answer will be, “Yes! To DC with you Baby!”
Couples, how many times have you been told your marriage is washed up OR…
“Y’all can work it out” without a prescription for what ails your marriage?
?Maybe, ya’ll are good, but a tune up would be even better. ?
The truth is the game has changed!
Our Managing The Flow Relationship Retreats ARE the change.
?If you haven’t already registered be sure to claim your spot below. Limited space available.
The on-site rooms for unmarried ladies have SOLD OUT! However, keep in touch with us, ya never know what we’ll come up with!
?Join us there!
When it comes to biology, the first place you look for relatives is within your immediate family circle. A big problem comes with this. It can be quite restrictive and the reason for it is downright alarming.
Your family members typically select the kinfolks you’ll interact with and/or create a relationship, especially during your childhood.
If Momma doesn’t talk to her sister, you probably didn’t either.
When Grandma and her brother fell out, you saw Uncle Jimmy less and less.
It ain’t right, but these family decisions impact many and do so for years. As adults, your family circle becomes limited because you haven’t seen Uncle Jimmy or your mother’s sister in over 25 years! Their children, grandchildren, celebrations, and experiences are unknown to you. Likewise, you’re a blood-related stranger to them also.
In your childhood, you can’t do much about the choices adults make. As a grown up, what can you do expand your family territory?
QUIT ALLOWING FAMILY TO
DEFINE FAMILY FOR YOU!
You’ve heard, “You can’t pick your family!” Agreed! You’re born into your family of origin, but you can hand-pick your emotional family.
Tip #1: Family doesn’t have to be blood or biological. You select the good folks you want to be in your circle that are healthy, supportive, loving and “show up” for you.
Tip #2: Set limits on the input you allow relatives to give you about your family interactions. When your brother says you shouldn’t talk to your oldest brother because he isn’t, it may be ok to give your brother the side eye. A broken tie doesn’t break your connection. Now, we would be remiss if we did not acknowledge sensitivities and exceptions to this. For example, when domestic violence, abuse, inappropriate sexual activity or illegal conduct occurs, boundaries may be needed.
But for issues outside of this, it may be good for you to accept the dinner invitation at your older brother’s house. Repeatedly limiting the selection of available family members for you to love and to interact with continues the cycle of family dysfunction.
Tip #3: Take responsibility for the bonds you create versus deciding to be loyal to one side of the family due to a generational/family dispute that has nothing to do with you. You deserve to have deep loving connections. When you give consent for another person to dictate with whom those love networks will be with, you restrict your capacity to give and to receive love.
Recently, Naa’ila met one of her 2 sisters she’d never met. The three sisters had heard of one another, but by no means been presented with the option of interacting as family.
As children, the adults around them decided dissolved marriages was reason enough not to make a connection. We’re gonna take it a step further. Sometimes, grown folks don’t know how to be the intermediary under such conditions. Imagine that!
No one teaches adults how to orientate a formerly ignored child into the existing family unit. Ain’t no classes on this one!
However, we’ve done it, if you need a guide, we got you... but a formal course doesn’t exist.
Rather than be in awe of the alliances and love waited to be created, go make a family connection! You can renew old ones too! Let us know what happens!
Hello Love Thang Village
And we’ve more than half of our goals for our Managing the Flow retreats. Yes! We’re tootin’ our horn. Can you hear it! Over 150 couples and unmarried folks served in over 5 cities and next week, we’ll do it again at an Orlando resort.
What will you find when you get there? Truthfully, we don’t know either, but we do know a role we’ve been trying to play since 2018 when we began this journey.
You’ll walk away with answers for relationship loopholes such as:
What am I doing wrong with my presentation to a potential spouse?
What to do with a DIY marriage- A marriage requiring you to do the most.
You could be married for a year or for 30 years and your spouse hasn’t been doing their equal share in the marriage. We’re not talking about the household chores. This is about dating in the marriage.
This is about befriending each other in the marriage.
This is about showing up when family members don’t.
This is about supporting the dreams ya’ll pillow talked about many nights.
You feel alone.
And have to pay the bulk of the bills and clean.
Your heart will turn bitter, but the sweetness can return. Learn more about some things NOT to do, what you can do and how to cope here!
Remember #MTFOrlando with Imam Shadeed Muhammad and us. That’s a lot of expertise in one room! We’re sure some of you can offer insight too. You have to show up to do so.
It’s got answers for age-old snafus and fun. The retreat isn’t for you, but a few one-on-one sessions with one or both of us could be the remedy. We’ve worked with hundreds of couples on 5 continents. Our success rate means just under 2% for divorce.
Your marriage win could be the next one, but you have to contact us.
You’re on top of it.
You got a promotion.
The laundry is done.
Your bills are paid.
Your credit score increased and your thighs decreased.
Life is leaning in your favor and you know you sizzle like the summer heat.
Until it comes to parenting. When it comes to the parent-child standoff, you can’t seem to draw your parental weaponry kit! Your child is quick on the draw. Their behavior is a knock down fight in the Wild Wild West for you.
At least it feels like it.
You’re determined to get a win. We have a few suggestions for you to switch with a quick flick of the wrist. Turning your language around is a step to changing behavior. We make no promises for your child’s reaction, but you gotta begin somewhere! If you’re feeling lost and need to adjust hat brim, we do that too.
Be careful… Say, “What do you need to remember?”
I keep telling you the same thing… Say, “Would you like to do it on your own or have me help you?”
You should know better… Say “What did you learn from this mistake?”
What’s wrong now?… Say, “How can you take care of yourself in this moment?”
Now, there’s a second half to this. Don’t allow your son or daughter to give you an open-ended answers with the intention of putting you on ice.
Make an inquiry. Ask for specifics. Find out what their plan is. Do you need a parenting plan?
You have to teach the skill set you want to see.
Let us know what happens!
THE HIM & Naa’ila
GLI Counseling LLC
Stone Mountain, Georgia 30086
Hours of operation
Sunday-Thursday: 10 am -8 pm