Hello You,

It’s another day and another month of the pandemic.

Another one. And there was another one. And another one. Many believed after the first lockdown, we’d resume our normal lives. It hasn’t happened in its entirety.

Naa’ila hasn’t seen her mother, except virtually, for a year now. She speaks of missing her smell and her touch. This type of loss feeling lonely and isolating.

Precautions must be taken for the elderly and vulnerable populations. On the other hand, there are young adults using their own standards for interacting with others. This can be hard  when you want to hang out with friends and they decline. Or, when you want to meet with friends, but you have your own preventative measures urging you to stay home.

While these principles make sense to you, it hurts. The separation can cause depression, anxiety and feelings of grief.

Many choose to remain in touch virtually with video calls. This surely helps. Naaila has seen her mother a few times via video. While this was heartwarming it also served as a reminder of not being able to see her. Thus, the blessing was bittersweet also.

During this time, give your sadness a voice. Say how you feel to those you love and miss. This experience is a form of grief for the loss of the life you once had. Admit how you feel. Believe it or not, this also gives others the consent to speak their feelings also.

Until we get to give each of you a good Southern hug, please be safe.

See you soon,

Hasan and Naaila

Soo…ummm.

There’s something we need to talk about out here on these Heart Highways. There’s this mistaken belief that if you were the one who did the wrong, more responsibility for the relationship falls on you. Because of this rumor, there are literally thousands of couples operating from the position of “Not me! You did it.”

Folks believe, as long as they’re not the one who “did it”, there’s less for to do.

For example…Your spouse did something to hurt you. We agree your spouse needs to make amends, show remorse, learn what reassurance looks like to you and offer it to you. However, how you show up in this process plays a big role in every step of the relationship.

Consider this. How you receive their apology and remorse makes a difference. Shaming or judging someone reduces the integrity of their good intent.

The bottom line is the relationship needs your care and responsibility. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is!

When you truly think about your relationship from a sustainable perspective, you’ll begin to realize loving another person requires being loving even when you may not want to be. This is a huge responsibility to take on.

You won’t get marriage without hard moments, difficult conversations, having assumptions challenged or feeling some “kinda way”. It ain’t realistic. This is the place where rumors begin, unrealistic corners.

If your spouse is the one putting in the overtime effort due to his or her blooper, and get no acceptance of their good intent, they’ll wanna quit! Keep them encouraged to do right by you by being responsible for the relationship.

But you don’t get to sit back and to bask in their efforts and do nothing! Be relationship responsible.

Talk to you soon,

Hasan “THE HIM” and Naaila