There’s something we need to talk about out here on these Heart Highways. There’s this mistaken belief that if you were the one who did the wrong, more responsibility for the relationship falls on you. Because of this rumor, there are literally thousands of couples operating from the position of “Not me! You did it.”
Folks believe, as long as they’re not the one who “did it”, there’s less for to do.
For example…Your spouse did something to hurt you. We agree your spouse needs to make amends, show remorse, learn what reassurance looks like to you and offer it to you. However, how you show up in this process plays a big role in every step of the relationship.
Consider this. How you receive their apology and remorse makes a difference. Shaming or judging someone reduces the integrity of their good intent.
The bottom line is the relationship needs your care and responsibility. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is!
When you truly think about your relationship from a sustainable perspective, you’ll begin to realize loving another person requires being loving even when you may not want to be. This is a huge responsibility to take on.
You won’t get marriage without hard moments, difficult conversations, having assumptions challenged or feeling some “kinda way”. It ain’t realistic. This is the place where rumors begin, unrealistic corners.
If your spouse is the one putting in the overtime effort due to his or her blooper, and get no acceptance of their good intent, they’ll wanna quit! Keep them encouraged to do right by you by being responsible for the relationship.
But you don’t get to sit back and to bask in their efforts and do nothing! Be relationship responsible.
Talk to you soon,
Hasan “THE HIM” and Naaila