Tips For Living With Your Spouse’s Unaddressed Triggers

Sooo, it doesn’t take much for your spouse to believe a discussion is a disagreement or to take normal negotiation between a husband and wife to the left..?

Before you leave, what can you do?

There are a few options. One of the worst things to occur in a marriage when one person is triggered is for TWO people to get sparked. Let’s keep it to a minimum. If you know your spouse can get lit easily, don’t behave as lighter fluid. There will be someone out there saying, “Why I always gotta be the one to fall back?…Why can’t he/she be the one to give in sometimes?”

If this is your set up, stop now and email us at info@ThatClayCouple.com.  Act now! When folks have reached this point, feelings of self-sacrifice and resentment have moved in or eyeing your marriage for a takeover. Let’s do something quickly.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming….

Please don’t try to convince a rattled spouse to feel or to think differently. This is not to suggest you shut down or hide your opinion. Never would we suggest this! However, let’s look at this realistically. Is this person really going to hear you in this mindset? It ain’t gonna happen.

Truthfully, when you get in your feelin’s you may be hard to pry apart also. Allow the person the opportunity to refocus and to allow their ears to work more than their mouths!

We’re gonna let you in on a secret. In these moments, your spouse ain’t really talking to you anyway! You’re there and may be the only person in the house. The most undeniable target for whatever your spouse is saying in this moment is likely a historical figure such as an Ex…a childhood tormentor…a fake friend…or a parent.

Fall back from the emotional and mental strike. Keep yourself safe. Gather your beliefs, values, favorite shoes, prayers and secure yourself! Abuse isn’t for you to own or to accept.

Don’t get pulled into the mood! When you don’t, you create a space of trust and safety. Your spouse knows he or she can be human, display their flaws and you’ll remain in a position to negotiate with them….later.

Let us know how it works out!

Hasan “THE HIM” and Naa’ila

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